There's only one sure-fire way
Kill 'em Dead!
Dear Frustrated Homeowner,
My name's Brooks Owen. Folks 'round here call me "Grandpa."
Please pardon this long letter, but after reading all the endless drivel about "how to get rid of moles," I needed to write this.
You see, nearly all the
bull-stuff you've read about marauding moles misses some
very basic (and rarely taken advantage of) maneuvers. So I
hope this information will explain a few things so you can
take back your nice lawn 'n garden in just a few days.
I remember when my yard was the neighborhood "mole hangout." To get rid of 'em, I foolishly bought nearly every goofball "remedy" and tried every half-baked idea that came down the cow lane. Like... moth balls, castor oil, bleach, red pepper, broken glass, firecrackers, hair, exhaust, sonic blasters, poison fake worms, gum, and on and on and on.
You name it, I tried it. And let me tell you, none of that hogwash has ever worked. Not gizmos or gadgets. Not vibrators or twirlygigs. And not goofball gimmicks. Never will. Next day, the moles come back. More mounds. More damage. More mayhem.
You know, I have to smack my forehead at how much time and money I wasted over the years on all that horse pucky.
Besides, it's insane
to have that toxic stuff around because they're
unhealthy and hazardous to your kids and pets. Not to
mention they can be harmful to the environment.
My Yard was a Mess...
Fact is, trapping is the only true and safer way to make sure they're gone for good. And there's an easy strategy to trap moles a landscaper once showed me (that I've since perfected.) Crucial procedures he picked up from a couple of ol' farmers and greens-keepers. A few necessary steps that're often overlooked, yet proven effective time after time after time.
Hold the phone! Despite what you might think,
trapping moles is a piece of cake. And
Yep, based on my 27 years success I've gotten pretty durn good at mole trapping. I even taught my 16-year-old granddaughter, Brooke, all my "tricks of the trade." Next day, the youngster went right on out and caught two of 'em in her backyard. All by her little self.
One thing's for
certain... if she can do it, you surely can.
Do It Yourself and
Now, before I keep rattling on, I gotta say...
... my mole-killing techniques may not be for you. They're only for folks who're chomping at the bits to vanquish the destructive little rascals themselves and save a ton of money. So hiring a mole trapping pro may the best solution for you. Just so you know, they charge between $50.00 and $150.00. Depending on where you live.
BUT... you can kill moles by trapping 'em yourself... you can stop the havoc they inflict before it gets out of hand. That'll make your life much easier, you'll hang on to your hard-earned cash, and you'll feel a a whole lot better. (I call it "mole control therapy.")
Anyway, for years folks have been prodding me to reveal all my mole catching secrets. So awhile back (along with Marvin, my mole trapping buddy) I put all our combined know-how into a handy-dandy 50-page manual that I cleverly call
"Grandpa's Ultimate Mole
In it you'll find every detail of both our stealth-like "die and goodbye" methods to eliminate moles. (I'm not pussyfootin' around... that's a combined bonus of 51 years success!)
The manual reveals the why, what, when, where and the how. All the important tactics you gotta have in your battle-ready arsenal to win the war against these bad boys. Everything's explained, clear as a fresh-washed window.
Does it work?
Durn tootin' it does!
Like this happy trapper in Iowa recently wrote,
Loaded up with plenty of how-to directions along with 33 photos and drawings, the manual shows you exactly how to get rid of moles in your yard 'n garden. Easily. Quickly. Inexpensively.
Let me tell you, you'll get your eyes opened to stuff you won't find anywhere else.
For example, you'll find out all these
• What 15 things you should NEVER do if you want to kill moles for good
• An easy way to find the ground mole's main tunnel lickety-split... no more guessing or trial & error. Wendell, the old golf course greens-keeper 'round here, taught me this way back in '86.
• Which mole trap to use. Nope, they're not all the same! There are 37 types and brands. (Some even look alike.) But me 'n Marvin have the most success with a certain one you can pick up dirt-cheap most anywhere.
• How to quickly pinpoint precisely where to place mole traps for best results
• Savvy secrets we discovered to correctly position and set traps
• What to do to catch the annoying critters in hard-to-reach locations
• When you should set your moletrap (yep, there's a right time and a wrong time)
• How and where to set multiple traps, if need be
• A devious, yet simple little trick to lure the invading yard moles right into your waiting trap... but should you do it?
• An "Old West" move that'll tell you which of your traps catches the most moles
• How to dispose of your "catch" the environmentally correct and easiest way
• How to snare "top running" moles that raise the sod, thus creating a varicose veins appearance in your lawn ... and why I think you shouldn't do it!
• The neat trap-setting maneuver that my barber, Neal, taught me whilst his razor was a bit too close to my left ear
• PLUS... something new I just picked up from another ol' trapping buddy, Tom. It's an easier, simpler way to hide set traps that he recently uncovered. When he showed me, I had one of those "oh, duh! slap-my-forehead" moments. Just goes to show... you're never too old to learn. (But will it work for you? Well, you decide.)
• PLUS... how my friend, Gary, improved the reach
of the trap by 300%! I've caught moles real quick with this add-on.
Works like a charm. I told him he oughta patent that
sucker, but he don't listen. Says he's just glad to tell
you about it. So he gave me a couple of photos and
directions to include that show you how to fasten it to
your trap, if you want. It's pretty slick. Easy to attach.
And pretty much free.
• AND a bunch more. Like, how to get "inside the head" of the mole... why they do the things they do... what they eat for dinner (and why you should give a hoot)... how they dig tunnels under your yard... and on and on
One more thing.
• I'll also give you all the free mole trapping advice you need. Just ask. Anytime.
Nothing's left out. I'm giving you "the works." It's as if I was right there, hand on your shoulder.
And after nearly three decades of successfully
Stop Wasting Time & Money
Here's the thing. Right now, at this very instant, moles are silently gathering beneath the ground. Plotting to do their dirty deeds by making more molehills and tearing up your nice yard. Which, of course, drives you crazy.
So, as I figure it, you've got three ways to go.
1. You can keep on doing whatever you've been doing trying to get rid of the irritating little troublemakers 'til the cows come home. It won't do any good, but you can keep on spinning your wheels, if you're having fun.
2. You can ignore the problem, if you like the moonscape look. Or,
3. You can remove moles once and for all. Like we do. Kill 'em dead! Period. End of story.
Now, if pesky moles are uglifying your yard, if you're aggravated and even mad as h-e-double hockysticks... the good news is you can own Grandpa's Ultimate Mole Attack Survival Guide for
a measly $4.97!
That's all. Chicken feed, actually, to be well-armed with me 'n Marvin's 51 years of proven tips, tricks, techniques and strategies.
Go ahead and make me prove to you that you, too, can – at last – get rid of moles. Easily & quickly. And start enjoying your beautiful yard once again. I’m not even asking you to believe me. All I’m asking you to do is to just try it.
OK, now I reckon you're wondering, "what if I do try it and decide I don't like trapping moles?" Well, no worries with my...
My guarantee is based on a simple handshake – you'll be 100% satisfied. And if you're not, I'll make it right.
Gare-Un-Tee #1: You never risk a single penny when you take Grandpa's Ultimate Mole Attack Survival Guide for a test drive. Check out our proven techniques. Trap a mole or three and see how you can finally take care of your mole problem... for real.
Gare-Un-Tee #2: If at anytime you're not happy as a clam in high tide, simply tell me and your $4.97 will be returned to you. Pronto. No matter if it's one year... five years... 10 years... whenever. No questions. No phony baloney. I figger, if this isn't for you, why pay for it?
Gare-Un-Tee #3: You can keep the "show-you-how-it's-done" manual, even if you ask for your money back! Maybe you'll give the manual to a friend or your neighbor and let them have a go at it.
So you see, you've
nothing to lose. BUT you have the very best shot possible
at gaining the upper hand and thwarting the damage that
moles do there at your place. I promise.
Now Here's How to...
But if you'd rather, you can get it by regular 'ol snail mail on a DVD. Either way, you'll soon know exactly how to get rid of moles once and for all.
Oh, and like they say on the boob toob...
"But Wait, There's More!"
For a short while I'll include two FREE SHAMELESS BRIBES – 'scuse me, I mean really nice Bonuses.
Bonus #1 is a slick guide that reveals 5 simple secrets to help you whip your sorry grass back into shape. It's called...
"Five Easy Steps to a Greener, Healthier Yard"
If your lawn's a pain-in-the-grass, you'll discover trouble-free ways to beautify your yard that'll save you time, money and energy plus protect the environment, to boot. Learn about composting & mulching, site-suitable plant selections, smart watering, pest management, natural lawn care and all that.
It's good stuff to know after you've taken care of all those ugly mole hills.
Bonus #2: A private link to my fancy "How to Trap a Mole" Video. Watch in awe as I find a tunnel, set & place the trap, and catch the mole. I'll probably be called to Hollyweird anytime now to accept one of them cute little gold statues!
Both bonuses are included with Grandpa's Ultimate Mole Attack Survival Guide.
See if you agree. Get your mole attack survival guide now.
And Happy Trappin'
If other pests and vermin are invading
your place, then here's more of
Grandpa's critter gettin' wisdom
and other useful stuff
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