There's only one sure-fire way
Kill 'em Dead!
My name's Brooks Owen. Folks 'round here call me "Grandpa." After reading all the endless drivel about "how to get rid of moles," I need to git this off my chest.
Here's the thing. Nearly
all the bull-stuff you've read about invading moles misses
some very basic, sure-fire strategies. So this letter will
explain how I took back my nice lawn 'n garden and how you
can too. Quick 'n slick.
So if that's not your cuppa tea... if you're a bit sqeamish... if you're content with those dang pests uglifying your yard 'n garden over and over again... then you may be excused.
I remember when my yard was the neighborhood "mole hangout." To git rid of 'em, I foolishly bought nearly every goofball "remedy" and tried every half-baked idea that came down the cow lane. Like... moth balls, bleach, red pepper, broken glass, firecrackers, hair, exhaust, sonic blasters, gum, and on and on and on. I even got a couple of pamphlets from the U.S.of A. gov'ment.
You name it, I tried
it. Let me tell you, none of that hogwash ever worked. Not gizmos or
gadgets. Not vibrators or twirlygigs. Not goofball
gimmicks. And certainly not some vague advice from
academic-types who've never actually fought off the
invasion. Next day, the moles came back with a
vengeance. More mounds. More damage. More mayhem. More
You know, I have to smack my forehead at how much time and money I wasted over the years on all that horse pucky.
To my dismay, our
yard was a mess until...
I discovered this
Fact is, trapping is the only true way to make sure they're gone for good. And there's an easy strategy to trap moles a landscaper once showed me, that I've since fine-tuned. Crucial procedures he picked up from a couple of ol' farmers. A few necessary steps that're often overlooked, yet proven effective time after time after time.
Hold the phone! Despite what you might think,
trapping moles is a piece of cake. And
Yep, based on my 27 years of hard-won success I've gotten pretty durn good at mole trapping. I even taught my 16-year-old granddaughter, Brooke, all my "tricks of the trade." Next day, the youngster went right on out and caught two of 'em in her backyard. All by her little self.
One thing's for
certain... if she can do it, you surely can.
Do it yourself and
Now, before I keep rattling on, I gotta say this one more time...
... my mole-killing techniques may not be for you. They're only for folks who're chomping at the bits to vanquish the destructive little rascals themselves and save a ton of money. So, if you're the delicate type, hiring a mole trapping pro may the best solution for you. Just so you know, they charge between $50.00 and $150.00 per mole. Depending on where you live.
BUT... you can kill moles by trapping 'em yourself... you can stop the havoc they inflict before it gits out of hand. That'll make your life much easier, you'll hang on to your hard-earned cash, and you'll feel a whole lot better. (I call it "mole control therapy.")
Anyway, for years folks have been prodding me to reveal all my mole catching secrets. So awhile back, along with Marvin my mole trapping buddy (who writes a whole lot better'n I do), we put all our combined know-how into a handy-dandy 50-page manual that we cleverly call
"Grandpa's Ultimate Mole
In it you'll find every detail of both our stealth-like "die and goodbye" methods to eliminate moles. (I'm not pussyfootin' around here... that's a combined 51 years success!)
The manual reveals the why, what, when, where and the how. All the important tactics you gotta have in your battle-ready arsenal to win the war against these bad boys. Everything's explained, clear as a fresh-washed window.
Does it work?
Durn tootin' it does!
Like this thankful trapper in Iowa who recently wrote,
Loaded up with plenty of how-to directions along with 33 photos and drawings, the manual shows you exactly how to git rid of moles in your yard 'n garden. Easily. Quickly. Inexpensively.
Let me tell you, you'll git your eyes opened to stuff you won't find anywhere else.
For example, you'll find out...
• What 15 things you should NEVER do if you want to kill moles for good
• An easy way to find the ground mole's main tunnel lickety-split... no more guessing or trial 'n error. Wendell, the old golf course greens-keeper 'round here, taught me this way back in '86.
• Which mole trap to use. Nope, they're not all the same. There are 17 types and brands. (Some even look alike.) But me 'n Marvin have the most success with a certain one you can pick up dirt-cheap most anywhere.
• How to quickly pinpoint precisely where to place mole traps for best results
• Savvy secrets we discovered to correctly position and set traps
• What to do to catch the annoying critters in hard-to-reach locations
• When you should set your moletrap (yep, there's a right and a wrong time)
• How and where to set multiple traps, if need be
• A devious, yet simple little trick to lure the invading yard moles right into your waiting trap... but should you do it?
• How to dispose of your "catch" the environmentally correct and easiest way
• How to snare "top running" moles that raise the sod, thus creating a varicose veins appearance in your lawn ... and why I think you shouldn't do it!
• The neat trap-setting maneuver that my barber, Neal, taught me whilst his razor was a bit too close to my left ear
• PLUS... something new I just picked up from another trapping buddy, Tom. It's an easier, simpler way to hide set traps that he recently figgered out. When he showed me, I had one of those "oh, duh! slap-my-forehead" moments. Just goes to show... you're never too old to learn. (But will it work for you? Well, you decide.)
• PLUS... how my friend,
Gary, improved the reach of the trap by 300%! I've caught
moles double quick with this add-on. Works like a charm.
I told him he oughta patent that sucker, but he don't
listen. Says he's just glad to tell you about it. So he
gave me a couple of photos and directions to include
that show you how to fasten it to your trap, if you
want. It's pretty slick. Easy to attach. And pretty much
free. (UPDATE: This brainstorm works so slick I've added
it to all my
• AND a bunch more. Like,
how to git "inside the head" of the mole... why they do
the things they do... what they eat for dinner (and why
you should give a hoot)... how they dig tunnels under
your yard... and stuff like that
One more thing.
• I'll also give you all the free mole trapping advice you need. Just ask. Anytime.
So you see, nothing's left out. I'm giving you "the works." It's as if I was right there, hand on your shoulder.
And after nearly three decades of successfully
Stop wasting time & money
Right now, at this very instant, moles are silently gathering beneath the ground. Plotting to do their damaging deeds by making more molehills and tearing up your nice yard. Which, of course, drives you crazy.
So, as I figger it, you've got three ways to go.
1. You can keep on doing whatever you've been doing trying to git rid of the irritating little troublemakers 'til the cows come home. It won't do any good, but you can keep on spinning your wheels, if you're having fun.
2. You can ignore the problem, if you like the moonscape look. Or,
3. You can remove moles once and for all. Like we do. Kill 'em dead! Period. End of story.
Now, if dadgum moles are uglifying your yard, if you're aggravated and even mad as h-e-double hockysticks... the good news is you can own Grandpa's Ultimate Mole Attack Survival Guide for
a measly $4.97!
That's all. Chicken feed, actually, to be well-armed with me 'n Marvin's 51 combined years of proven tips, tricks, techniques and strategies.
Do this... go on ahead
and make me prove that you, too, can - at last - git rid
of moles. Easily & quickly. And start enjoying your
beautiful yard once again. I'm not even asking you to
believe me. All I'm asking you to do is to just try it.
Now I reckon you're wondering, "what if I do try it and decide I don't like trapping moles?" Well, no worries with my...
My gare-un-tee is based on a simple handshake - you'll be 100% satisfied. But if you're not, I'll make it right.
Gare-Un-Tee #1: You never risk a single penny when you take Grandpa's Ultimate Mole Attack Survival Guide for a test drive. Check out our proven techniques. Trap a mole or three and see how you can finally take care of your mole problem... for real.
Gare-Un-Tee #2: If at anytime you're not happy as a clam in high tide, simply tell me and your $4.97 will be returned to you. Pronto. No questions. No phony baloney. I figger, if this ain't for you, no need to pay for it.
Gare-Un-Tee #3: You
can keep the "show-you-how-it's-done" manual, even
if you ask for your money back!
You've nothing to
lose. BUT you have the very best shot possible at
gaining the upper hand and thwarting the damage that
moles are doing there at your place. I promise.
OK, now here's how to...
But if you'd rather, you can git it by regular 'ol snail mail on a DVD. Either way, you'll soon know exactly how to git rid of moles once and for all.
Oh, and like they say on the boob toob...
"but wait, there's more!"
For a short while I'll include two FREE SHAMELESS BRIBES. 'Scuse me, I mean really nice Bonuses.
Bonus #1 is a nifty guide that reveals 5 secrets to help you whip your sorry grass back into shape. It's called...
"Five Easy Steps to a Greener, Healthier Yard"
If your lawn's a pain-in-the-grass, you'll discover trouble-free ways to beautify your yard that'll save you time, money and energy plus protect the environment, to boot. Learn about composting & mulching, site-suitable plant selections, smart watering, pest management, natural lawn care and all that.
It's good stuff to know after you've taken care of all those ugly mole hills.
Bonus #2: A private link to my fancy "How to Trap a Mole" Video. Watch in awe as I find a tunnel, set & place the trap, and catch the mole. I'll probably be called to Hollyweird anytime now to accept one of them cute little gold statues!
Both bonuses are included with Grandpa's Ultimate Mole Attack Survival Guide.
Now that's one Hugh Jass deal.
See if you agree. Git
your mole attack survival guide now.
And Happy Trappin.'
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